I dont understand why im always being used and stomped all over and being left behind when they dont need me anymore. You tell me that your friends didnt ask you out because they have each other, dont you do that to me too after consultations? Same goes to you. Once you've gotten your girl, what am i to you? Everyone just come and go whenever they like into my life. Im a pretty sentimental person and i will form deep emotional connection with everyone that ive meet. When its being formed and they suddenly just decided to leave, i feel so parched. People do that so often that i sometimes feel that im inhumane to them, that im a lifeless creature taking form in a human's body. I have feelings too, and i really dont like it. Im never the most important in anyone's lives. Maybe thats the reason why i like to force myself to think that everything is just temporary, and shut everyone out because its easier that way. However, it gets pretty lonely too but its better than being faced with disappointments everyday. Perhaps i shall stop being so nice to everyone because everyone takes it for granted. Im tired of being pushed around and be the person to look for as a substitute. Sure, i can put up a fake front in front of you because im tolerant, i just dont know how long i can hold it back in. This unsettling, disturbing feeling just keeps haunting me every single day. I should have never been amiable, perhaps i can save myself from such forms of heartache. I always think whats the best for others but never for myself, i just cant bear to make those people around me unhappy. I gusss i have to distant myself from them for awhile before i can move on with my life. Hmm. Till then!