Hi people! First day of school wasn't so bad as i thought it would be after all. I kinda look forward to it cause i get to see x and of course my darlings azizah&yixian! However azizah sprained her finger( hahaha cute her ! ) But nevermind i get to see her later! (Wednesday).

It was a pleasant surprise that i wasnt in the emath remedial cause i've gotten a B4. I guess Mr C. trusts me to study well on my own. But whatever cause im gonna be in the remedial anyway cause he's gonna set tests after tests to try to put people in his remedial and of course im the weak one obviously i would be down. BUT ITS OK! :D

I feel so weird carrying my school back and everything in the morning. I've got my motivation and drive back on and its time to get started! Since i've wasted my whole holidays because i have absolutely no self discipline, i have to buck up now if not its too late.

I've just realized that ive been making the same mistakes for all my subjects over and over again which made me lose quite a lot of marks. Now im planning to target all those holes that i didnt fill in for every chapters and build up my so-called-shakily-standing-tower of knowledge. Wohohoho.

Im not really in a very good luck cause i've got my period on the first day of school. What's more, ive been having diarrhea for the past few hours running to my toilet and this experience is really horrible.

Time is really, really tight now and if i don't buck up i would definitely lose out during prelims.
There's chinese o level coming up next tuesday and also chemistry O level SPA skill 3. O level Listening would be on my birthday 17th July. (Yeah i know sian right)
Physics SPA would be on week 4. Gotta clear all these so i can be at ease.

There's just so much work to be done when i think about it. And of course my english, social studies as well as my literature needs to be polished really, really a lot. Math, POA, Physics least worries me because i know where i am supposed to work on. To be honest, i've really no idea how am i going to pass my chemistry in O levels because i simply just can't find any drive to give any f*** about it anymore. I know its really wasteful and all but even if you take a knife and threaten me to study i wouldn't. I dont know why i have such strong hatred towards this subject. Of course, i really want to do well, i mean who doesnt right? I think im just going to press on and see what i squeeze out of myself within the next few months provided im comfortable with my core subjects.

I really want to see myself blossom when prelim comes and results will show that im working towards my goals.

I've also realised that i've been having so much negative thoughts like, ' What if i screwed up my SPA and there is no way that my written papers can save me? ' ' What if i blank out? ' ' What if i work hard but my results doesnt show? ' Well screw all this negative thoughts cause im gonna conquer them! Sitting around worrying all day isnt gonna change my Cs to As, and neither will it let me PASS my chemistry. So i've found this quote to remind myself when im flooded with negative thoughts. ' Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't, you're right. ' - Henry Ford. Its a quote that my trainer Kelvin in Mindchamps when i've attended it back in secondary 1 kept reminding us about. Having a positive mindset is very important as it really gives you the motivation to carry on no matter how tough it gets. There is absolutely no point whinning because NO ONE GIVES A DAMN. At the end of the day, you suffer because you get horrid results BECAUSE you cannot change your mindset to tell yourself YOU CAN, so therefore you dont even bother TRYING. Im someone who is afraid of failures and im overcoming this obstacle now. ' I AM powerful beyond measure ', and i believe that so long as i have faith in myself, i can push through anything.

Sorry for the naggy post cause i felt inspirational-ish all of a sudden. :)
Well, my next post would be about a special someone in my life and i will be updating on Monday night.
See ya on Monz! xoxo.