Hi people.
No words can ever describe how guilty i am right now.

Didnt go to school today cause im down with fever and as a result i missed 3 tests - Econs, Math, Chem.
I really wonder how am i suppose to take the makeup test tomorrow since all the teachers i've texted dont reply me. Its really annoying.

I went to study with Emily after school at J. Co since our tuition's at 7.30pm. We had a really great time breaking the awkwardness between each other and after yesterday i feel really comfortable talking to her already:) She's a really great teacher and she taught me how to do standard deviation like within 5 minutes!
Saw michelle, the ex sports capt president, god i miss her so much! I still remembered how we met through the sec 1 sports captain interaction day and how much we've bonded with each other just within that very day. She gave me lots of really awesome tips and i really have to thank her for everything. Saw that bennett for the first time in AHS uniform. To be honest he looks so much better in uniform than his singlet + shorts. Hahaha!
Everything was going on fine until shit happened.
I've went to the toilet with emily and left my phone on the top empty space and had forgotten to take it with me before i left. I washed my hands and walked away from the toilet just a few metres away and realised that my phone wasn't with me. I immediately rushed back to the same cubicle, it was quite distinct as there was an empty bubbletea plastic cup on top of the blue trash bin, and an old aunty came out of it. She was like, ' Let you use first lah ' in chinese and when i looked around my phone's missing.

Stupid me wasn't thinking fast enough to chase after that old aunty as she obviously took my phone and tried to act nice by letting me use the toilet first to run off. It only took 30seconds. 30 seconds.
Emily and I went to the information counter and tried everything we could to retrieve the phone but we failed. We took bus 29 to Mrs quek house and we were 15minutes late. I've borrowed Mrs Quek's phone to contact some people and called Starhub to temporary terminate my line. To be honest i couldn't concentrate at all and i feel so damn insecure without my phone. This just shows how dependable i am on my phone. Fuck.

I really do feel bad ruining the whole tuition for everyone. Especially for Elysia who had a test the very next day. Im really very apologetic and guilty.
Emily, thankyou for searching up and down, high and low for my phone. You knew we were late but you tried your very best to find my phone anyway. I really, really couldnt thank you enough for listening to my swears and whine that day. It's really annoying but im just a girl who couldn't control her emotions once she's fed up. Also, thankyou a million for explaining to my mother about the incident that i couldnt have the courage to do so myself.
Clara, thankyou for generously offering me your phone to contact my mother and suggesting many, many ways to protect my iPhone privacy settings. Im really glad that you even contacted your friend who knows everything about iPhone and filled me up on it. But honestly i didnt really cared about my passwords and all, im just worried about how im gonna contact my friends. Hehe. Opps! I really thankyou for being the IT expert!
Elysia, awkward turtle, im really sorry for ruining the tuition. I feel really, really guilty to the max. Thankyou for your concern and you tried to calm me down with all your typical awkward moments! God elysia how can i EVER, make it up to you? ELYSIA POHHHHHH IM SORRY ! D:

What could i ever do without you girls. Love you all:)

To add the guilt that im feeling about making everyone so worried, i asked my dad to re-activate my SIM card as i needed it badly. My dad has to go down to starhub to get a new sim card since i've terminated my old one and my contract is under his name.

He came back not only with my SIM card, but with an iphone4s.
Can someone please kill me right now?

My dad may be very unreasonable sometimes(actually most of the time), he can make a big fuss over really small matters and yells at me very frequently. He's just someone that cannot show his love in a proper way.
Whenever he yells at me i'll just keep quiet telling myself that he's just stressed from his work. But sometimes when he yells at me when im feeling stressed up i'll show him attitude. But deep down inside, i know that he still loves me, by driving me to tuition every sunday, by offering to fetch me when im out late, and even fetching me to school in the morning. I know my dad has many, many flaws and it really annoys me sometimes but i really love him. I just have to accept him for the way he is, not how i want him to be. I love him so much.
Im gonna save up and pay him back the money he used to buy the phone.
I swear i would.
-

One thing that really bothers me is that im really having so much mixed feelings and in a state of confusion. Why am i feeling so fucked up over such trivial matters and letting my emotions take control over me?
Deep down i know that all along i had a motive, but everything just seems so wrong after today.
I really have to stop thinking about it and let nature take its own course.
XOXO,
good night people!