Victoria

Its been quite some time since i've blogged cause my computer has gotten virus. Damn.
Didn't really have had a chance to blog about the USS trip with the lovelies. Shall start from there!




 Me and shann after mummy ride!


After the mummy ride we went to collect our bags in the locker. It started pouring heavy rain and everyone was squeezing with one another. The santrid smell of rain and the odour from the sweat of the people around me was simply unpleasant. Gennie, shann and Char bought raincoats while i shared umbrella with felicia.

We went to the 'far far away' land which was my favourite part of USS cause everything seems so princessy. :)

 The big-ass screen!



 lovely gennie with the donkeh!

Accompanied shann to verious shops to collect some free gift or something. Look at the candy shop! :D


 The polaroid flim that we took with Puss in Boots earlier on!
 Charlotte was blown away by the mee fen roll at the bottom right. AHAHAHAHA! :)

Madagascar gift shop!









We left USS at around 8.00-ish and went to Hersheys to buy chocolates :) We got back to Habourfront after waiting for 30mins to get up the sentosa train platform cause there are way too many people going back at that time. Felicia and gennie went down the basement to buy some pie in Burger King while charlotte left early. He dragged me out to the open area of vivo and just nice there were fireworks from Sentosa. He gave me my birthday present (not telling you what!) as we watched beautiful fire crackers bursting into colorful sparks in the sky.

Went back to the food republic to meet gennie and felicia and ate. He left as he lives there while i took the train back with gennie and felicia. Gennie and I had an uncomfortable experience with some bitch on the train who wanted to stomp us for sitting down while she herself is a well abled woman of her 30s. I dont see any elerly around who needed the seat, so why must i give in to you when you are capable of standing on your own feet? Assholes everywhere.

Reached home around 11 and texted all the girls and him goodnight and fell asleep almost immediately. It was a day to be remembered ;) I've truly enjoyed myself that day. Really wish outings like this could come by more often.


...


On my actual birthday i had O level listening comprehension for chinese. Sad. Went to eat with him after school at Seoul Garden. The food was yummy. I dont know why but the only thing that i like was the egg noodles and the teriyaki chicken. HEHEHE, im such a waste of money :P oh well!




Last Friday went to Evening under the stars cause he secretly bought tickets for me without me knowing. Was planning to stay at home and mug like a boss but oh well. It was sweet of him though (; Ate at vivo city's Kim gary and went back to school at 7.00pm for EUTS:) it was a great performance!


 Oh, not to forget pressie's from the excos and the annoying orange ;)
Man its a long post. Anyway, toodles! :) Tired alr, hahaha!

Hi people! First day of school wasn't so bad as i thought it would be after all. I kinda look forward to it cause i get to see x and of course my darlings azizah&yixian! However azizah sprained her finger( hahaha cute her ! ) But nevermind i get to see her later! (Wednesday).

It was a pleasant surprise that i wasnt in the emath remedial cause i've gotten a B4. I guess Mr C. trusts me to study well on my own. But whatever cause im gonna be in the remedial anyway cause he's gonna set tests after tests to try to put people in his remedial and of course im the weak one obviously i would be down. BUT ITS OK! :D

I feel so weird carrying my school back and everything in the morning. I've got my motivation and drive back on and its time to get started! Since i've wasted my whole holidays because i have absolutely no self discipline, i have to buck up now if not its too late.

I've just realized that ive been making the same mistakes for all my subjects over and over again which made me lose quite a lot of marks. Now im planning to target all those holes that i didnt fill in for every chapters and build up my so-called-shakily-standing-tower of knowledge. Wohohoho.

Im not really in a very good luck cause i've got my period on the first day of school. What's more, ive been having diarrhea for the past few hours running to my toilet and this experience is really horrible.

Time is really, really tight now and if i don't buck up i would definitely lose out during prelims.
There's chinese o level coming up next tuesday and also chemistry O level SPA skill 3. O level Listening would be on my birthday 17th July. (Yeah i know sian right)
Physics SPA would be on week 4. Gotta clear all these so i can be at ease.

There's just so much work to be done when i think about it. And of course my english, social studies as well as my literature needs to be polished really, really a lot. Math, POA, Physics least worries me because i know where i am supposed to work on. To be honest, i've really no idea how am i going to pass my chemistry in O levels because i simply just can't find any drive to give any f*** about it anymore. I know its really wasteful and all but even if you take a knife and threaten me to study i wouldn't. I dont know why i have such strong hatred towards this subject. Of course, i really want to do well, i mean who doesnt right? I think im just going to press on and see what i squeeze out of myself within the next few months provided im comfortable with my core subjects.

I really want to see myself blossom when prelim comes and results will show that im working towards my goals.

I've also realised that i've been having so much negative thoughts like, ' What if i screwed up my SPA and there is no way that my written papers can save me? ' ' What if i blank out? ' ' What if i work hard but my results doesnt show? ' Well screw all this negative thoughts cause im gonna conquer them! Sitting around worrying all day isnt gonna change my Cs to As, and neither will it let me PASS my chemistry. So i've found this quote to remind myself when im flooded with negative thoughts. ' Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't, you're right. ' - Henry Ford. Its a quote that my trainer Kelvin in Mindchamps when i've attended it back in secondary 1 kept reminding us about. Having a positive mindset is very important as it really gives you the motivation to carry on no matter how tough it gets. There is absolutely no point whinning because NO ONE GIVES A DAMN. At the end of the day, you suffer because you get horrid results BECAUSE you cannot change your mindset to tell yourself YOU CAN, so therefore you dont even bother TRYING. Im someone who is afraid of failures and im overcoming this obstacle now. ' I AM powerful beyond measure ', and i believe that so long as i have faith in myself, i can push through anything.

Sorry for the naggy post cause i felt inspirational-ish all of a sudden. :)
Well, my next post would be about a special someone in my life and i will be updating on Monday night.
See ya on Monz! xoxo.

Hi there!

Okay the time is 12.21AM, Saturday which means im left with my last saturday to enjoy before i go back to school. You know ive been playing so hard till i didnt know time flies. If you actually count the start of O levels, which is 22nd of October. We are only left with 3 months till O levels, not counting October because its useless rushing through last minute. Its really scary how time flies so fast and you're definitely not prepared for a major exam. This exam that i would be seating for in october will determine rather most of the rest of my life of which path i would go. Yeah, the stake's high, i know that.

I promise that i would study hard and give in my 101% effort to pay attention in class and not to slack off and do meaningless things like how i did in June. I do not want to look back and regret for the rest of my life due my immaturity at that point of time.

So, here's my plan till Os:
1) Get sufficient sleep: Sleep at 11pm everyday
2) complete ALL my homework on the day itself
3)

MON- CHEMISTRY

TUES- MATH & POA

WEDS-PHYSICS

THURS-ENGLISH, SS,LIT

FRI-CHEMISTRY

SAT-MATH

SUN-PHYSICS

THINGS TO BE DONE:
Do 4 paper 1 and 2 Emath paper every week
Do 2 physics mock paper, complete 1 chapter of longman every week
Write an expository/narrative and situational every week
Read through 3 themes of ss by end of 3 weeks
Practice 2 SBQ questions every week
 Read my Things Fall Apart (Yes i havent read! shit!)
 Learn poetic techniques ( Consult mdm sabina )


4) Wednesday is a late night mugging day
5) Gym every Saturday after math tuition


My list of stuff seems impossible but i guess i should train myself to be discipline if i really want to achieve outstanding results next year Jan and crying in joy.

-
Okay enough about all these serious stuff.
Recently ive been to food courts and ive just forgotten just how yummy food court food are and definitely much cheaper than restaurants!

On monday i ate at Tampines 1 food court. They have this Yong Tau Foo stall which sells 7pieces including noodles for just 4.00! They have have lots of yummy variety ranging from fried wanton to all-time favourite tou foo, crab sticks, veggie, seaweed, like anything that you want will be there! Totally worth it! Oh, i love the yellow noodles, dont know why! :)

Went to study with Bennett Tan @ J.Co on Thursday. As usual, we ended up talking crap. Ate at foodcourt and went to uniqlo/cotton on/dorothy perkins to window shop. Finally went to KFC to continue studying. Managed to finish my physics holiday homework. *miracle* and him finishing his summary. Guess what,  awesome decided to treat me Lenas :D Wahahaha the mash potato was really, really good. I didnt really like the fried banana though hehehe cause its so oily.



 Fried Banananananananana :)

As june holidays are coming to an end, im really starting to feel the pressure of O levels. Thoughts like, ' what if i screwed up my core subjects that needs to be used like english? What if i wrote out of point? What if my hard work dont pay off? '

Secondary school is definitely not the same as primary school. Primary school so long as you mug, you'll get good grades. But in secondary school? Hell no way man. Im so fearful that i would screw up even though ive tried my best, and i will end up having an L1R5 so high that i cant even go to a JC. Ah but screw it, im gonna try my best and think of the worse that could ever happen AFTER O levels. * shoots all negative thoughts down *

Gonna try to fill up what i do not know over the last week of the holidays (hopefully). Toodles!

Here's a short paragraph from Xiaxue from her 12 Feb post. 

It definitely speaks the hearts of many. The society should quit moaning and whinning about everything and do something about it instead of sitting around trying to mess up others lives to make themselves feel better. I guess everyone has been there, done that, including me.We get jealous over others, thus, we try to dig out any flaw to put others down instead of improving on ourselves which is really immature and dumb. Xiaxue's post is well written. Couldn't respect her more.

Taken from : http://xiaxue.blogspot.sg/search?updated-max=2012-03-07T07:07:00%2B08:00&max-results=7&start=9&by-date=false

" And then later on in life you like a cute boy but he chooses a girl prettier than you, slimmer than you. She works out at the gym, watches her diet and she's got plastic surgery and wears makeup and pretty clothes all the time.

What do you do? Instead of upping your game you bitch and moan, complaining that the girl cheated her way up the looks hierarchy. Stupid girl must spend all her time dwelling on her looks and must have no personality at all!

Why should men care about looks? What a shallow man, you say, conveniently forgetting you also liked him because of his looks.

Shouldn't they care about character, like in that Taylor Swift song? Can't he see you are his soulmate? If she didn't work out or had plastic surgery you bet you are even better-looking than her!!

Ah but here's the thing... She did work out and she did get surgery.

Surprise!! Other people are more hardworking than you! Instead of blaming the system, GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND DO SOMETHING.What is stopping you?

Are you afraid that if you studied hard your results are only mediocre? Are you afraid that after plastic surgery and losing weight you are still ugly and your dream boy still doesn't like you? So afraid and insecure that you'd rather never have tried hard before, than to try hard and fail? Well then fuck you, you have no rights to insult others who had the courage to try. " - Xiaxue

I've been really down these few days because im constantly comparing myself with others. I tend to look at what others have and i dont which makes me feel that my life sucks ( which, i know is pretty immature of me) but i just cant help it. I've always fancied how others can lead such a luxurious life with everything falling in place for them without even trying. I can't help but to envy them. I really need to contain my competitiveness that burn within me. I guess i should stop focusing on what others have because i AM fortunate enough not to worry about my daily meals everyday and having a roof above my head, and of course a lovely family. I have so much to be thankful about yet i kept complaining about my life just because i dont have some things that others may have. I really got to get rid of all these negativity in me and start living my life that i should. Stop being so complacent! :(

Going to work out my timetable later and will start working towards my O levels tomorrow. I dont want to live my life with regrets. :) Tooooodles.

Hi people! Okay as you all know Chinese O level is on monday and we have had chinese intensive programme everyday for the whole week. I feel that im somewhat prepared but so long as i dont write out of point im ready to go:) Had extra lessons in school from 9.00am till 10.30ish. Went to watch Men in Black 3 and it was awesome shit i swear. Honestly i wasn't expecting much from the movie cause i thought it was gonna be some kind of mundane action movie. It's a really awesome movie that really captivated my attention from the beginning all the way till it ended. Usually i would just get bored and start to space out. So, a movie that captures my attention is a truly good movie :) I would give this movie a rating of 4.7/5. The bad thing about this movie is that some parts are kind of disjoint that hard to comprehend cause the setting of the scene changes very fast. But you wouldn't even think about it because it's just god damn nice. I really really really hope i can get an A1 for my chinese since it's the second time that im taking. Come to think about it, last year i chose Question 3, which is like story writing to write and i know that my compo was out of point and my paper 2 didnt do very well either. I really dont want to feel as horrible as i did back in January where i had gotten back my chinese result. I had done what i could and right now i would just cross my fingers and hope for the best of luck on Monday. Meh, sorry for the boring post cause im feeling quite neutral now and i dont really have anything to write. Hehehehe. will blog again soon!

Hi ! It's been a long time since i've blogged due to many reasons. I've realised there were some posts that were a little too sensitive and it should be kept as draft. I didnt expect people to actually read my blog so i had been posting whatever that comes up on my mind and type it down. (My bad)Those posts had been deleted and tada my blog's free to read again:)

Okay, mid years had just finished and we had gotten back all our scripts. To be honest i felt really, really disappointed in my results because i felt that i could have done so much better judging by the amount of effort i've put in. Not say im extremely hardworking but i had put in my 101% effort in getting my results to decent grades. The results were horrifying and just, indescribable.

Its really dejecting to see others scoring effortlessly while im struggling just to scrape through my examinations. I know that i shouldn't be competing with others and that i should be contented as i've improved from my last year results ( failed 4 ). Also, this mid year was the full paper format that we would be sitting for o levels as compared to last year which is only a part of it.

It's just kills the damn motivation for you to even study when it isn't showing the results that you had hoped for. On top of that, its even more saddening seeing people getting their As and Bs even when they didnt study. I mean wtf, where is the justice. I used to think that with resilience and peserverence, anything is possible. And to be honest im a hardworker myself, and i would do anything to get what i want to achieve. Im not trying to boast or anything but im just saying im willing to go that extra mile just to keep up with others even if i have to because im not blessed with that intelligence. This mid years had put my beliefs into question and i dont even know if it still applies to me anymore. What for put in so much effort and get shit results in the end. It sucks ok.

My mother and my grandma had always told me that if i've given in my best, it is good enough. It is just like what Dee Kosh said in his #mybestisgoodenough video back last year. Last year, i would kill myself when i dont achieve my results even when ive put in my best. I remembered how hard i've cried after i've got back my Mathematics paper because i've been practising consistently, doing practice after practice EVERYDAY without fail. And yes, i've cried because i bloody failed yet AGAIN. This failure not only acts as a disappointment to myself, but also to my tuition teacher who had never given up hope on me even when i kept flunking my math over and over and over again. And there are the smart ones who could pull through without much studying for Emath and get an A which made me felt even worse. I started to doubt if i was ever gonna pass my math. I felt horrible beyond description. Because of my consistent failure in math, my mum wanted to change tuition teacher for me which is the last thing i want to happen. It took days of persuasion and much tears to keep my tuition teacher. What's more, I got additional lecture from Mr C. (initials used are purely coincidental) during the PMP session and even got accused of not studying.

Speaking of Mr C. , it brings me to my next point. My tuition teacher had constantly encouraged me and told me to compete with myself because there is no point killing myself comparing with others because i will never be happy and there's really no point which only makes me feel stressed and depressed. She had never given up hope on me and we started working towards our Mid years ever since December. Finally, this mid years i had gotten B4. I was so elated because i haven't passed any Midyear/finalyear exams for math ever since Secondary 1 FYE. That's how bloody lousy i am and i swear, i couldn't be any happier even if i just passed. I've came a long way from where i was and the happiness i felt was undescribable. Just when im humming away happily in my heart, Mr C. had to approach me and tell me this, ' your results is very lousy. You didn't get A '

Let me get this straight Mr C. , You have no idea how hard i've studied for this exam and must i remind you that the mid year paper i had just sit for is TWICE the number of question as compared to last year and TWICE the overall marks as compared to last year? If you've got NOTHING better to say please SHUT THE HELL UP. Just because other 22 people in our class are scoring distinctions and you expect me to do the same when all along i've had an E8 average for math? I'VE ALREADY GAVE MY BEST, I'VE PASSED, WITH A B, FUCK YOU WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME? You have no idea how much your words had affected me. If you tell me that when obviously i didnt gave in my best i'll just keep my mouth shut but NO. OKAY. I GAVE IN MY BEST IF THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, PLEASE FUCK OFF. Thanks to you i spent my whole recess crying feeling so horrible about myself. Just when im starting to see a little hope in myself you just killed that every little hope that i had. I really wanna thank azizah for comforting me if not i dont know how i could survive throughout the rest of the day. Thankyou love, your words are very encouraging <3

and please, even my parents dont even compare me with anyone else, what makes you think you have the right to do that? It's a really great improvement and im satisfied about it so please keep your words to yourself unless you want a day where i can't take it anymore i will fucking explode and spout all my anger on you. I dont mind if you keep quiet and not say or comment anything about it. I really dont.

Okay enough of my rants. I know i may have over reacted but im a very sensitive person. These kind of teachers should just die you know. What's so fun going around demoralising people. -.-

Well i hope i would update soon but i doubt i would cause Chinese Os are coming. seeya!