Coming from a Singaporean middle income family
February 25, 2015
When I was younger, my
parents would always bring me out every weekend, and sometimes to carnivals and
tourist attractions like the annual Flower display in Sentosa, River Hongbao. I
remembered how I really wanted to buy a souvenir from every event that I go to
- maybe a toy from a carnival, over priced drink after a long walk in sentosa.
I just couldn't understand why they couldn't afford spending that a few extra
dollars when all the other kids could buy whatever they could, multiple toys,
holding popcorn in one hand and cotton candy on the other walking around. I get
so jealous and I've always been so angry thinking about why I have what other
kids have.
Every single time when my
family goes out, we go out to foodcourt and hawker centres while everytime when
I ask my friends and they said they are in high class restaurants every single day, trying dishes real abalone and shark fins soup or I have never heard of and places I have never been to.
My dad's who has 3 other
friends and their family have this gathering on either christmas or new year
eve on one person's house on a rotational basis every year. I remembered how
everyone else was living in a bigger house, condo or private semi D while im
living in a flat. I felt inferior, and embarrassed when it's our turn to hold a
gathering at our place because we couldn't afford a private room with projectile
to screen movie, or have a corner with many cool toys for kids to play with.
By the time I was 12, I
needed tuition. I remembered how I was denied having more tuition because it
was too expensive for my family to afford. I hardly asked anything from my
parents and when I do, I really just want to do well. That day I locked myself
up in my room and cried so hard, feeling so angry and fustrated because I feel
like I've asked for something that is reasonable and wanting to improve my
grades so bad. It's not like I've ask them to buy me an xbox or anything that
fell into the category as a want as a 12 year old kid.
There was a point of time
where bay blade and Yu gi oh/pokemon cards were so popular and everyone seem to
be hoping onto the trend of investing money in them. I could only afford fake
ones while everyone else had authentic ones. Once they found out about it, they
would laugh at me, so badly.
Everyone could fly to
everywhere they wanted every single year, or the fortunate ones fly more than
once a year to far away countries like UK, USA and you get so envious because
you are hearing stories about those countries from them and will never get to
experience and actually feel how its really like to be there.
By the time I'm 18, social
media became such a huge part of our lives that it became unavoidable to be
kept up to date with other's lives especially with instagram. It just seems
like everyone has a very beautiful bedroom with wooden floorings and wide
windows, king size beds, extremely large shower tub whenever they take selfies
around their house, or always having many outfits from many different blogshops
accompanied with a branded bag like Gucci, LV. I reuse my outfit and
wearing clothes that has no brand.
I am about to receive my A
level results, and the feeling of fear striked me. It's going to be a make it
or break it situation. I don't open up to my parents because they don't seem to
understand what I'm going through. The stress, the immense pressure to fight
with thousands of other singaporeans to get into university. I tried to seek
comfort in them and asked them if i could go overseas to pursue my studies if i
really couldn't make it for my A levels, all I ever hear was, ' We got no money
'.
Every single time I feel
like im being denied of choices because I'm 'poor' in this society. I felt like
im at a disadvantage in everything I do because I'm not rich or well off. I
really hate it when everything that my family talks about is how money is never
enough, how my mum's bank account left not even a single cent after my
secondary 4 while my brother was having his PSLE at the same time.
Don't get me wrong, I
don't blame my parents at all.
I just hate them feeling
like money is never enough. I know I'm not relative poverty to the point that
it's difficult to life day by day. I have a roof on top of my head, I eat so
much awesome food. I'm pretty well off and I SHOULD be contented with my life.
I just hate to hear that my family always say that they don't have enough
money, and how they have to worry and source for money from others or use
savings just to get by. I hate it when money is a problem and a worry for my
family, especially my mum.
It just breaks my heart everytime I have to see my
mum being an aunty buying 10 dollar clothes for herself from This Fashion, putting
down a 50 dollar dress when she really wanted it but it was too expensive for
her and she will find some excuse like ' it's not like im gonna wear it often'
not to buy it. When she comes home with packs of salmon, sushi, half of a
spring chicken for my brother and she buys the cheapest thing that she could
find in the foodcourt like a plate of chicken rice.
She never ever buys
starbucks for herself when she goes there but for the both of us. I feel awful
seeing her being so thrifty about little things so that we can lead a better
and comfortable life. I know she is a very simple minded person and is easily
satisfied with little joys in life but just as the saying goes every mother
wants the best for her daughter, every daughter wants the best for her mum too.
This is why I'm so driven;
driven to do well in life.
Determined to earn a lot of money so that my family
could stop worrying about money and live a life that they are worth of. In a
big house, drive Mercedes Benz down PIE, anything they want or wished they
could have but never had a chance to. Every single time I have this not to give
up mentality no matter how tough life got. The mindset of 'You have no other
choice, you don't have the money to have other options, you HAVE to make it in
life' in order to give my parents a deserving life when they retire.
Yes, it's not a problem,
there isn't any problem being in the middle income group. It's just so
difficult for singaporeans like us not to chase materialistic goals because
let's just face it, how to avoid feeling competitive when you live in an
increasing income gap every single year and everyone wants to fall on the
richer side of singaporeans.
I dont want to live in a
world in the future whereby my children are being denied of the best educators,
the option to go overseas to study if they didn't make the cut, the ability to
enjoy their holidays not just in singapore but overseas to broaden their view
of how other countries are like. Most importantly, I don't want them to be
denied of medical treatment when they fall ill. I don't want my children to
feel like they are inferior to anybody because they don't have the money.
That being said, it's just
a wish.
A wish that every middle income family child would want: To be rich and
let their family live a luxurious life in the future.
Many people have
different definition of luxurious, but for me... so long as money isn't an
obstacle when you have to make a decision such as wanting a family getaway
overseas to any parts of the world and money isn't a problem.
With all that being said,
of course happiness is the most important, for my family, for me, for anyone. Money doesn't give you happiness, but you wouldn't be happy when you are living
day by day having to worry about it.
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