Victoria

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed with guilt because others have done for you so much that you could never ever repaythem, not even with gratitude. I dont know why i feel so weird, but i've never been so pampered by my bf. As im a sentimental person, i would definitely take note of all the little things that he has done for me and all these would eventually add up to the guilt that i can never get rid off and it just piles on as time goes by. Im never an easy person to deal with. Im a very dominant woman who knows very clearly what she wants in her life and would do almost anything just to get what she had set out to do so. Of course, these kind of women have a very bad temper and im of no exception. I strive for perfection in everything that i do. Of course, its tiring and mentally draining to be that way. So where do i vent all my fustrations on? Him. Despite everything from my bad temper from screaming and yelling at him for no apparent reason to being so self absorbed in my own world, he still stood by my side throughout everything. He isnt someone who has a very good temper. To think that he's able to withstand all my nonsense is really worth commending. He always knows what im thinking of on my mind and he doesnt let me go back unless i speak my mind so that i can feel at ease after i go home. He has done so much for me from fliming and editting my sc video to fetching me from school when i felt lonely and empty at times. How i wish i can do something that will make us on the same tile so that no one owes any gratitude and we both can feel guiltless. How i wish i can be a better girlfriend towards him by controlling my temper. Im just not used being the one on the receiving end because im always the giver in any relationship and i like it that way. Sometimes, i just secretly wish im the best you have ever had, but i fail to think that way every single time becausei gave up on deceiving myself. I suck.